Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing ?

Pupil: No, teacher I'm having trouble listening !

Teacher: Where don't you feel well ?
Son: In school !
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow ?

Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass !

Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a liquid that won't freeze ?

Pupil: Hot water !

Teacher: Why are you standing on your head ?

Pupil: I'm just turning over things in my mind, sir

Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Fred's test paper

Pupil: I hope you didn't see me either

 Mother: How was your first day at school ?

Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun